The Kindness Quotient by Rhonda Sciortino

Author:Rhonda Sciortino
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hatherleigh Press
Published: 2018-06-01T08:26:18+00:00

NOT EVERY ACT OF KINDNESS IS GENUINE

THERE are subtle, yet significant differences between the adjectives “kind,” “nice,” “polite,” and “courteous.” Not every person who acts kindly is authentically kind. A person with nefarious motives can still show a kindness, act nice, and conduct him or herself in polite, courteous ways and still not be authentically kind. These are the proverbial wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Kindness with an expectation of reciprocation is fairly common in the workplace and can be acceptable so long as everyone involved knows what is expected, as in the example of co-workers who arrange to take turns driving each other to and from work. This type of arrangement is kind to all so long as expectations and ground rules are established ahead of time, are fair, and everyone complies. If, however, one person is always the one putting miles on his car and paying for gas, while the others don’t drive, he can feel used or manipulated. If it becomes apparent that one co-worker never intended to hold up his or her part of the agreement, the apparent act of kindness in helping one another is transparently self-serving, and isn’t kind at all.

KINDNESS FACTOR:

Never make the mistake of believing that polite and courteous behavior indicates integrity or honesty.

Some people take insincere acts of kindness to the extreme, “acting” kindly for the purpose of luring someone to do something that is wrong, unethical, immoral, or flat-out illegal. Sadly, examples of using kindness to manipulate others happen all the time. Criminals use kindness to dupe elders into “investing” their life savings in phony schemes. Wrongdoers pose as people in need to lure in and rob good Samaritans. Traffickers fake kindness to lure unsuspecting young people into human trafficking. In some cases, fake kindness can be a more effective persuasion than brute force. Authentic kindness cannot coexist with selfish intentions.

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you’re going to remember about me.”

—Al Capone

KINDNESS FACTOR:

True kindness is a character trait, an attribute with no motive other than legitimizing and valuing others.

The best way to tell genuine kindness from counterfeit kindness is the same way that the Secret Service trains their new agents to identify counterfeit money. We learn about the real thing by studying the real thing.

To identify authentic kindness from those acts driven by impure motives, take inventory of your own motives and actions. Observe the words and actions of those precious people in your life who are genuinely kind. By intentionally observing kindness and practicing kindness, you will begin to feel a sense of peace around authentically kind people and a feeling of unease about others. You may or may not be able to identify what’s wrong, but you’ll sense that something isn’t quite right.

KINDNESS FACTOR:

Kind people don’t pre-judge.

Before you jump to the conclusion of judging someone’s motives, be sure to learn as much as you can about the person and his or her circumstances.

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